We all have experienced difficult seasons in life. It’s that long-term illness with no clear diagnosis or improvement. The rollercoaster ride of a struggling marriage that through the years has become a hopeless cause. The repeated dealings with a wayward child who doesn’t seem to want to outgrow his or her rebellious ways. The unexpected loss of a job followed by months of unemployment and bills that are piling up, leaving us discouraged and asking ourselves, “Why is this happening to me?”

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been there. For 17 years of my life, I dealt with crippling depression and anxiety. I was hospitalized on three different occasions for suicidal ideation. Over time I was put on various psych meds that helped for short stints of time before I spiraled once again into despair. At my worst, I spent months in bed, isolated and wondering if healing would ever come.

March of 2020 ushered in three years of the COVID-19 pandemic; our world lived in constant fear of the unknown, fed on experiencing polarizing politics while we all wondered if life would ever go back to normal again. 

I thought that was the worst, but nothing compared to the 15 months where a series of life events rattled my world and made me question God’s intentions for my life.

It all started with a positive COVID-19 test while on a mission trip to Spain in April 2022. This prevented me from going home with our team and kept me in the country for an extended period. I was missing home and sicker than I had ever been, longing for my bed, my loved ones and a quick recovery that didn’t come. For months, I experienced debilitating symptoms of long COVID-19. I was extremely exhausted all the time, my lungs felt like they were drowning, my body ached and my brain was foggy. 

In May, my best friend’s 17-year-old son was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. 

In October, my father’s health deteriorated; he had to be hospitalized in Puerto Rico and eventually was diagnosed with cancer.

November 3rd, I was awakened by a phone call from the alarm company that monitored our corps. The person on the line explained that multiple sensors were going off at the building and that I needed to get there right away. Upon arriving, we found the corps surrounded by police vehicles and fire trucks. Someone had broken in and systematically gone room to room breaking windows and trashing the place before setting our chapel on fire. The damage was extensive. 

Mid-November, our kettle fundraising season started, and it was one of the toughest that I ever had to lead. Every one of our kettle vehicles either broke down or got into an accident.

A phone call in early December let me know that my dad had been promoted to Glory. This was expected, but it sank me into a season of intense grief. 

On March 16, 2023, my best friend’s 18-year-old son, Fernando, was also promoted to Glory after an intense year battling cancer. Nothing can ever prepare you for the loss of a young person. We were heartbroken but came alongside the family to help plan the memorial services for their son.

In May, my wife and I received our marching orders. Our time in our then-current appointment was coming to an end. In early June, we were commissioned and ordained as captains and sent to Northern Division DHQ for our new appointments.

To say this was a long and difficult season would be an understatement, but God was in all of it even though I could not see it then. At one point, I remember saying to my wife that God was either trying to punish me or prepare me for something big. In hindsight, I can testify that the latter was true. 

As you face your seasons of trials and tribulations, I want to encourage you to look at them not as a threat but as an opportunity for personal growth. Let me take this opportunity to share three lessons that I learned from my seasons of suffering.

1. Recognize that seasons of suffering are a part of the human experience. 

You are not alone in the struggle. We all go through tough seasons in our lives. Going through them doesn’t mean that God hates you or that He is angry with you. They are often a consequence of living in a broken world that needs redemption (Romans 8:21). Bad things do happen to good people. Jesus warned us in John 16:33 that trouble would come: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (NIV). For Christians, it’s not if you will have trouble, but when. The promise is that Jesus has already gone before us and has overcome the trials and pain of this world. Through Him, we too are overcomers (Romans 8:37).

2. Realize that trials and tribulations are opportunities for spiritual transformation. 

Growing up poor in a single-parent home, trouble often came looking for me. It seemed like my family and I were always struggling to survive. But as I grew older and more mature in my faith, I learned from my study of the Bible that God uses extended seasons of heartache and hardships as opportunities to transform us into His likeness. It is by persevering through the trials and tribulations that we can mature in our faith.

The Old Testament compares the trials and tribulations that we face to a crucible. A crucible is a ceramic container in which precious metals are purified by subjecting them to very high temperatures. As the metals are heated in extreme temperatures, the impurities rise to the top and are scraped away, and what remains is a pure form of the metal. The Bible also compares our faith to gold (1 Peter 1:7). When gold is mined out of the ground, it comes with impurities that must be subjected to an intense process of purification to increase its purity and value. The longer the gold remains in the extreme heat of the crucible, the purer it becomes. So it is with our faith during trials. 

3. Reframe your experience of suffering with a new perspective.

James 1:2-4 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (NIV).

This passage encourages believers to choose joy instead of despair. To focus not on the trials but on the outcome of what God can and will do in and through us. Knowing there is purpose for our suffering helps us to persevere in the long seasons of trials and tribulations.

I will be the first to admit that these lessons were not easy to learn. I kicked and screamed my way through some of these difficult seasons. In my struggle, I also had to learn to trust God with all my unanswered questions. Would healing ever come? Would things ever be back to normal again? Why is this happening to me? Is God punishing me? I had to learn to be okay with not being okay and to wait patiently for the answers to come, but the answers did come.

After 17 years of struggles with my mental health, healing did come. It’s been 12 years since I’ve had to rely on a psychiatrist, psych meds and hospitals. I’m glad I didn’t give up.

The pandemic came and went, leaving us with a renewed sense of hope and a new normal.

Finally, I can testify that the Lord did have a purpose for those long 15 months. Little did I know that my time at my corps appointment was coming to an end and that God was going to use those 15 months to prepare me for my new role as general secretary. I would not be who I am today had it not been for the work that God did in me during those difficult months.

I am so glad I learned to trust God through it all.  

Illustration by Janie Hao | This article was originally titled “Under Pressure: Finding Strength in Seasons of Suffering” in the September 2024 issue of The War Cry.